A Guide to Assuming your Fatherly Responsibility in a Blended Family Setup
As more and more people find themselves in blended families, an imminent challenge lies in trying to become the best stepparents for the children. No matter how many times or how many blogs you read about fathering, nothing really prepares you for the stepdad role until and unless you experience the responsibilities firsthand. As is it is parenting in a normal family set up can be quite challenging for most people, leave alone assuming the role of a stepdad in a blended family. Another thing to remember is that you are perfectly human and very normal when you are engulfed with feelings of being a step behind always.
Even so, there are steps you can take to become the best stepfather that every child would want to have. Probably the most important step you will ever take is to seek help for stepdads so that you do not end up disconnected from your stepchildren emotionally. This way, you will be strong enough to take your leadership position as the head of that blended family and will assume your responsibilities with confidence even when the going gets tough.
There are very useful resources online that can offer the best advice for stepdads. Do not hesitate to join a forum of like-minded fathers of blended families looking to make good their fathering abilities. Other additional action points have proven effective for most stepdads today.
First and foremost, it is important you understand and comprehend the emotional climate of your step kids. For instance, being aware of the kid’s hurts and wounds from past losses is key to coping with the sometimes oppositional or angry attributes of most children in blended families.
It is also vital that as a stepfather you recognize gaining leadership and respect from your stepchildren is a work in progress. What this means is that over time you will earn the right to be the leader of the blended family and you will automatically get to connect and nurture trust from the step kids. Allow the kids to accept you at their own pace, not stamping your authority and expecting to be accepted automatically. Ensure you are that approachable stepdad that every child would want to engage as the natural leader of the family. Being accessible and approachable to stepchildren is a matter of knowing not everything is about you always. When conflict and stress arise as it sometimes will, ensure you manage yourself very well to gain the confidence and trust of your stepchildren.